To All Those Who Have Messed Up Big

Four years ago, the exposure of my sin felt too much to face. I wanted to run… to hide and even end it all. But God asked me to do something different this time. Instead of making excuses, minimizing or sweeping my sin under the rug, He invited me to STAY, REPENT and WALK out my repentance in the midst of those I had wounded. Though God forgives us and His mercy is more than we could ever need, our sin against others causes pain. And when we don’t stop and consider that, it causes more pain. God’s grace is big enough to keep us…to enclose us in and face our consequences.
When we trust God and run to Him instead of away, He not only heals us and restores our messes, He begins to heal those we hurt. We can’t make that happen, but we can pray that it will. We can give people the time, space and dignity to choose how they want to respond. Not pressuring, begging or demanding, but patiently praying and waiting. It won’t always feel or look pretty, but God is faithful!—Written one year ago but still true today. 2-22-2016


It occurred me today, after I texted a dear friend who messed up big, that one of the biggest lies of the enemy to those of us who have messed up big is…….

What example am I to God’s Kingdom now?

Let me just tell you what example you are and break off the stinkin’ lie that you are ruined for service!

If you have messed up big and have repented…….

taken ownership……

haven’t blamed others…….

haven’t demonized your haters…….(They hurt too)

felt like you’re giving birth because of the pain of your sorrow…….

AND, you have humbled yourself before God and man……..

YOU, my friend, are one of the most powerful examples in God’s Kingdom.

A life of humble repentance IS that example. (Tell that to the devil.)

As you know, we all sin. We all blow it. We all screw up, in one way or another.

And yes, all sin is damning BUT not all sin is as damaging.

I’ve met many people in my life who have messed up BIG.

I am one of them.

The lie that we have lost our ability to be effective in the Kingdom of God because of our sin is ridiculous.

Of course there are consequences, of course you may never be able to “fix” what’s been broken but that’s the point.

You broke it and you can’t fix it.

The difference between those who repent and humble themselves is that you trust God to fix it.

And He will.

He will swoop down, pick you up and put your feet back on the Solid Rock.

Severe Mercy.

Though you will never stop desiring for everyone to forgive you, for everyone to see who you truly are, for everyone to repent for their own sinful responses……you can’t get stuck in these heartfelt desires.

Because frankly, it won’t happen.

And you don’t need it to.

You need only to keep your eyes fixed on your Redeemer.

There is only one Man whose opinion of you really matters.


To those who have messed up BIG and have not repented and humbled yourselves before God and man……

Your healing and restoration awaits you in the loving arms of Jesus.

It’s scary, I know.

And we can’t make ourselves repent.

Oh, we can stop a behavior as fast as we started it but true repentance goes beyond behavior and comes from the core of our beliefs.

And that is something that God can change. Ask Him. 

“Repent for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand,” Matthew 3:2


(“Father, Will you bless me with the gift of repentance? Will you cause godly sorrow to take hold of my heart and then fill my heart with the joy of being wholly forgiven?”) So far, He has never said no to that request in my life.

He doesn’t want us hurting ourselves, or others.

He wants His children living in peace and harmony.

All mess-ups come from a desire for more. A desire to cover-up an ache in our soul to be known and loved.

God knows you. Better than you know yourself.

And, He loves you. Deeply.


We give up control.







  1. Nancy

    We all need to hear this from the pulpit, from homes and from rooftops.
    Thank you Kandace.

    1. admin (Post author)

      You have cheered me on from the moment I met you. I am so very thankful for the grace you walk in and offer. And yes, I agree, it’s a message we all need to hear. Miss you!

      1. Nancy

        You have been on my heart today. I look forward to your posts because the Truth you share always seems to hit me squarely in the middle of my walk. Thank you for being so faithful to what the Lord speaks to you. Blessings.

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