Nathan and I are die-hards.
If you are unfamiliar with the term, I looked it up for you:
“Clinging to a seemingly hopeless or outdated cause.”
Oh gosh, this is so us.
It’s our story.
Seemingly hopeless and yes with the cultural norms, even an outdated cause.
Marriage is hard…and fighting for one that’s marred with deep pain and betrayal is even harder.
In fact, in many ways IT IS easier to walk away and count your loses.
Sadly for some, they have no choice. It really does take two…or it takes a very patient one, and a waiting for a miracle until the day you die kind of faith…
even then, the miracle may never come.
Nathan and I have had more than one “seemingly hopeless” season in our marriage.
We both have felt done at times…for good reason.
We seem to be suckers to see hopeless situations find hope.
We’ve agreed we don’t need to test that with US anymore…
We are both convinced this marriage has crossed the contract line and is marveling in full-blown covenant.
However, our story is not really our story.
At least it’s not only our story.
At the end of the day as we look at one another drinking in what we’ve been given, we know there are others.
Other die-hards who want the wreckage of their marriage to be turned to rivers of grace and mercy…
Where forgiveness and unconditional love flow freely.
Come on friends, our world is STARVING for it…a place, a people, a culture where people truly do repent…find mercy…forgive…
(Yes, in a perfect world with perfect people we wouldn’t need to repent.)
Nathan and I’s story won’t move everyone…and sadly, it angers some.
Either a marriage wasn’t restored OR a marriage couldn’t fathom doing what we’ve done.
We get it…we’ve heard it and still…we have HOPE.
Trust can be restored.
Sometimes even stronger than marriages where there’s been no betrayal…
but neither has there been any sign of true marital joy and passion.
You see, God’s not in the business of putting on bandaids…
He gives new “limbs.”
He takes the soul wounds…
the sexual wounds…
the emotional betrayals…
and He gives us something NEW.
New hearts, new minds, new desires and new lives!
So new, you can no longer remember the old.
Not the kind of forgetting that it never happened, but the kind of forgetting that pain becomes compassion and passion for others.
Our story has hit the 26 year mark as of June 17th, 2015. (Happy Birthday, Bethany!)
Gotta do that…our MIDDLE child was born on our anniversary…not good people..if you know anything about middles.
Our story of 26 years of marriage is for others…maybe not you, maybe not now, maybe not ever…but maybe?
We are die-hards.
We believe the why of marriage is worth believing for, fighting for, pleading for…
We also believe it sometimes doesn’t work out the way we hope…
The hope in a marriage that hasn’t been restored is that the PEOPLE still can be.
It’s the most important.
If your marriage was not restored or even fought for, please know that God is in the PEOPLE RESTORING business before the MARRIAGE RESTORING business.
God restores ME…and YOU.
Yes, people make up the marriage but when very broken people marry, it’s more about the individual than the marriage.
For those who understand this and get the help they need, the marriage can thrive with two restored individuals.
It’s hard work, but worth it.
Nathan and I got the help we needed and surrendered to the grace of God… it’s paid off in more ways than we could have hoped for.
Our story…has become our prayer…
“God, we can’t do this. We know You can, please come and be our strength, our hope and our help.”
Let it be for all of us, Lord.