The last time I flew was almost one year ago and let’s just say, it was slightly traumatic. After a flight in Philadelphia was delayed because a pilot was MIA, we were told they were looking for another pilot. After an hour or so I went to the terminal counter to see if I should begin thinking about plan B. I was told they were still looking.
What came out of my mouth next proved to be really, really stupid.
“So, do you give your on-call pilots breath tests?”
I thought it was an honest, information seeking question. I mean I had just watched Sully with my man and…you know, my mind just went there.
But the man behind the counter was apparently not having a good day. He shot back,
“Are you saying you believe our pilot has been drinking?”
My response I felt was absolutely logical but it still wasn’t enough.
“Well since I don’t know who this pilot is or will be, I would have no idea if he’s been drinking.”
The next thing I know, security was called and the man behind the counter says loud enough for all the passengers to hear, “Your question could cause all these people to miss their flight.”
My heart rate shot up but my mind said, “Remain calm.” In that moment, I felt shocked, shamed and a need to defend myself. I did get some words out about my disbelief in how it was being handled but the man behind the counter was relentless to draw attention to my stupid question.
The airport manager showed up and thank God he was a reasonable man and ended up apologizing.
The whole ordeal lasted about 30 minutes and when I was able to leave the airport on my next flight, (I had them change my flight because I felt exposed and vulnerable after the passengers were visibly upset with me) I cried quiet tears for the duration of that flight.
The feelings in that moment were hauntingly familiar. No doubt, the exposure of doing something stupid and all eyes on me, was a trigger.
As my next flight took-off, God began to speak to my heart. His tenderness and concern for me drew me once again to His extravagant kindness. He watched the whole ordeal and waited for it to be over. He knew I would turn my attention to Him. Because like my husband tells others, “My wife has taught me to run to God in pain and not away from Him.”
God saw and He waited.
Our responses to life’s pain will reveal our faith…do we believe God is our Healer, our Redeemer, and Defender OR do we curse Him when faced with unwanted circumstances?
Before my flight landed, I was wrapped up in God’s love. The nightmare of feeling exposed and vulnerable had long been over. The enemy tried to recreate the lie in a different way but I wasn’t falling for it this time.
I recognized it.
I placed myself before Jesus.
I listened to Him instead of “them.”
I don’t know your pains, past traumas or triggers but I know Him and if you get before Him, His truth will heal you and set you free.
He saw, He sees and He wants to speak to you about these things. I love talking with people who struggle to discern His voice. If that’s you, humbly, I can help you with that and would be delighted to do so.