My Soul Sings

On rare occasions I get to come sit in the prayer room  at IHOPKC. It never disappoints.

My soul is stirred and singing tonight. The assignment God has given me in this season of life is so much bigger than me.

Most days I can’t comprehend it.

The assignment I’m talking about is nothing that is seen or can be talked about openly. Yet, I think it could possibly be the most significant opportunity the Lord has ever placed before me.

Years ago our family invited a young man by the name of Marc to come live with our family. We shared our hearts and home with Marc for 3 months before he died. It’s a story that still speaks to me and teaches me today. Marc’s life helped changed our lives and I can’t wait to see him again.

Shortly after Marc died, we had a prayer meeting at our house with several of my daughter’s friends from high school. During our prayer time a young man tearfully confessed he was battling suicide thoughts. Something in me rose up and it sounded like this on the inside:

“Oh no you’re not…enemy! Not on my watch.”

As I moved in close to this young man who had his face down on our living room floor, everyone gathered around him. What happened next continues to inspire me today. The kids, his peers, began crying with him and calling out to God for help. They began speaking truth over who he was and the plans God had for his life. (I’m still crying years later.) That night still teaches me today.

This young man is now married with a beautiful wife and two adorable children. Thank You, God.

My new assignment is hard. I feel tired sometimes. I’m being wrecked again in ways that I know will teach me life lessons. I’m seeing God do things only God can do. My inability to love apart from Him is front and center but my yes is shouting loud to the Heavens.

This precious assignment came to me with angels. And at some point every single day, my strength is renewed in the Lord. He has never failed to provide the grace I need. I am equipped.

I can love deep and wide because He’s loved me deep and wide.

I’m not sure there’s any other way.

My soul sings tonight because my heart is free. Free to love and believe that He can…even when I struggle to feel I can.

In just a little while longer I will get thank Jesus face to face. I will look into His beautiful eyes and recall seeing Him in the eyes of others…and I will sing His praises and tell Him, He was worthy of it all.

Every tear…every prayer…every sacrifice.

Poured out. Filled up.

And never being okay with people I love being tormented. Not on my watch.

 

 

1 Comment

  1. David

    Hi Kandace, You don’t know me but I want to thank you for allowing God to use you.I personally have been backslidden in my heart for years and have struggled and still in chains of my own making. You said that there are consequences for our sin,but God uses them to draw us back to him..I’ve never seen them in this light before..I’ve seen them as judgement and God punishing me. Anyway, Thank you…

    Reply

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