I would love to just stay in this place forever. This place of feeling mushyly tender at the mere mention of His Name.
My tears are abundant as of late…He’s just so good…so near… ever attentive.
Jesus. God-Man. Baby…coming King.
I’m not always at this place. Not on purpose. It’s just sometimes I sink into the familiarity of all the things I know and expect. I can lose sight of the radical gift I’ve been given. I can mouth the words, “I’m so thankful…” but lack the passion of living a life of gratitude.
When I sink into that place, life becomes a heavier burden than it was meant to be. I’m learning when the burden get’s heavy, my eyes have averted to people or things or ideas that were never intended to give me the rest only He can give.
I’m also learning when my heart starts to feel dull, it’s time to dive in deeper. The knowledge of God is an endless ocean. There is no way we will discover all there is to know about Him in this lifetime. Knowing Him is like searching through a treasure box only to discover there is no bottom to the box…unlike the one I searched through when I went to the dentist as a child.
This morning in my searching I turned to the various of accounts of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. Some of my recent tears are from feeling the sorrow of those who are grieving in this season. I remember the various emotions I had during a season of my own deep grief. I remember feeling alone…feeling hopeless…feeling depressed…feeling frustrated because I wanted others to understand…I remember not being able to “see” on certain days….
but then, He would always send someone…someTHING, some song, some baby, some words, some text, some angel…
Yeah, angels. They come sometimes. We may not see them but they breath on us. They lift up our weary inner man and strengthen us. They are His messengers and we can believe they are His servants. Are you as fascinated by this as I am? If Jesus’s Father did it for Him, He will do it for us because we’re in Him and He’s in us. He’s our Father too.
He loves us as much as He loves His Son.
In Luke 22:41-45 we read the account of Jesus, His grief and an angel:
“And He withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and began to pray, saying, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.” Now an angel from heaven appeared to Him, strengthening Him. And being in agony He was praying very fervently; and His sweat became like drops of blood, falling down upon the ground. When He rose from prayer, He came to the disciples and found them sleeping from sorrow,…”
Not only is Jesus in agony as His sweat becomes likes drops of blood, but His best friends are sleeping from sorrow…they could’t deal with it, so they slept. Can anyone relate to that?
Yet, God never sleeps. And when no one else is looking…when no else understands… when everyone else is busy or sleeping or unaware…when no one else can give us strength, He knows how to get to us.
That moves my heart today. He knows and He cares. And He does something about it.
My prayer for those who feel alone in their grief today is that angels will come. That you will be strengthened to lift up your head and take another step of hope. Your sorrow will not feel this way forever. Yes, sadness may always have a place but joy will also move in and bring meaning to this sorrow. I know I have more sorrow coming in this life. It’s just going to happen. Though I don’t look forward to it, I know I won’t be alone in it. Even when people can’t give me what I think I need, God comes again and again and gives me all I need. He will give you all you need to. Himself.