It’s My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To

Today is my birthday!

(For you color code people, my slash of yellow still comes out on my birthday…a.ka…I like it when the party is about me.)

My forty-eighth birthday to be exact. No longer wanting to be younger but enjoying the journey until I cross over and meet face to face the One who rescued me from me. Even typing that brought a wave of joy over my soul, washing all these temporary sorrows.

Excuse me while I go do a happy dance.

If there’s one bit of forty-eight years of experience I can share with you today it’s this:

Dancing through our sorrow makes injustice bow for the short-term grip it has on us.

We don’t have to deny or pretend our hearts don’t feel sorrow nor do we have let them keep us from the greater truth that Jesus eradicated sorrow at it’s roots. I know our eyes still see its withering leaves and our hearts can still experience its harsh low- blows, but as sons and daughters of the Loving, Living God, sorrow is short-term and joy is forever.

Grieving with hope.

The hope that even if we don’t see our desired outcome in the here and now, the final outcome is JOY UNSPEAKABLE forevermore.

Excuse me while I go do a happy dance.

I was FaceTiming my partner in crime…I mean partner in the gospel this morning and I held up and read the birthday card my 13-year old nephew gave me upon awakening. And well, I kinda lost it. I then apologized for crying to which she replied:

“Hey, it’s your party and you can cry if you want to!”

We laughed until we cried harder…and then threw out a few more 80’s songs that involved being a rich girl…and that’s enough on that.

You want to know why I cried..? I’m assuming if you’ve made it this far, you do. 🙂

I cried because there is nothing else someone could thank me for, that hits my heart with such sweet and deep emotions, than someone learning about Jesus from me. For my nephew, it started not by teaching my nephew about Jesus but opening our home to him and his family. (If we have the means to help someone with real needs but pat them on the back and say, “I’ll pray for you,”….we might want to consider why they would ever care what we have to say about Jesus…preaching rant over.)

Yes, I am a Jesus freak, addicted to His presence and saving power but I don’t plan on joining a recovery group anytime soon to learn how to cope. My addiction doesn’t lead me to hurt myself or anyone else and has only proved to grow me in loving myself and others in true love ways.

I don’t care who you are, what you’ve done, what you believe or don’t believe, I love you.

I don’t feel the pressure of always making others happy or agreeing with them or living up to their expectations, I just love them in thought, word and sometimes I get to show them.

No strings attached.

You can hate me, gossip about me, ignore me, delete me, heck you could even kill me and I’d wake up on the other side loving you. You are loved and there’s nothing you can do about it.

I know, I know, my love isn’t perfect for you. Only Jesus’s love is. But what I can say on this journey of growing in love is, it’s my joy to love you.

Don’t mistake my ability to love you no matter what as having super powers to not feel hurt or sorrow if you seek to hurt me, but just know there’s a place you can also go where Perfect Love wraps us all up and our hurts and sorrow dissolve in His healing love and power.

Happy Birthday to me! And please don’t worry about sending presents… I am already a rich, rich girl.

Excuse me while I go do a happy dance!







Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.