“I Just Want To Win!”

It’s been the perfect day to meet my babies at the park! I asked my son to load up their bikes and meet me at King Jack. King Jack has the perfect place to let younger children ride their bikes and keep them in view as they stay on the path around the lake. Aizlyn recently received a new bike for her 5th birthday and I was anxious to see her little legs peddle. Her new bike isn’t just any ol’ bike, it’s a Troll bike…with Poppy on it. And it was her favorite birthday present.

As Aizlyn took off, I ended up needing to “jog” to keep up with her. Left in her wake was her daddy and baby brother who happen to be on his new motorized bike he got for Christmas. I finally ran out of fuel when I told my granddaughter to slow down and let her daddy and brother catch up (a.k.a. let me catch my breath), to which she replied, “But Yaya, I just want to win!” I tried to explain to her it wasn’t about winning, it was just about being together and having fun. She didn’t buy it and peddled even faster.

As I continued to keep up, I began reflecting on the lake we were going around. It’s not just any ol’ lake. It’s a lake I spent many hours at when I failed in life and needed a place to help quiet my heart and straighten out my thinking. I spent hours and hours writing, crying, raging, walking, hoping, and longing for a new tomorrow. I don’t remember the last time I went to this particular lake during that season but I do remember when my heart began to let go of “needing to win” in life. I started hearing things like:

Jesus won for you.

It is finished.

Failure doesn’t have to be final.

God wastes nothing.

Your sin is no match for God’s mercy.

Grace flows to the lowest place.

God’s not scared of your messy.

You don’t need “likes,” you need Jesus.

Transformation comes gently and consistently.

I could think of many other truths that were whispered to me as God was rearranging my insides. It was the place God began to walk me through letting go of false securities and comforts while grabbing onto the power of His cross. That He really did win for me. That He really did have a Sabbath rest for me that I had never known. That I no longer had to pretend or strive or compare or compete, because when you’re competing, you can’t just enjoy being together.

I bless the day God met me at the bottom. I’m thankful that when the enemy whispers, “You’re going to fail again,” I can grab hold of the One who won for me and cry out for His help. And though there are days and moments I have to press in harder to remind myself to breathe deep and rest, I am no longer afraid. He rescued me when I least deserved it and He still shows up when I say or do something stupid. He still swoops down, quiets my heart and straightens out my thinking…because He loves me…and you.

And today, I needed a reminder that there is a new day for us. It’s now and it’s still coming. By His amazing grace, I am going to anticipate more joy on this journey of the new day! Will you join me?


  1. Bailey

    Me! I want to trust God more and anticipate more JOY

    1. admin (Post author)

      I love that we get to do life together! You bring me much joy Bailey Nicole!


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