I handed over something very precious to me today.
It was only a small painting…but it was more like a dream.
It was painted by the hands of one of the sweetest young ladies I know. I was honored to receive it.
Joy believed in the work I was doing four years ago when an adoption agency was coming to life in Joplin. Door after door was opening and with each step forward financial provision came in abundance.
It was all God…or so I thought.
At the same time my heart was being swept away by a deception I did not say “hell no” to.
I thought I could keep it in control. In a matter of a few months, it controlled me.
Once exposed, it was over.
My life went into a tormenting fog…at my lowest I wanted to end it.
Life went on for those around me.
Life for me changed.
The day I went to pack up my office was one of the hardest days of my life. I could hardly walk in the door… but then God whispered…”Thank Me in this.”
Nothing in me felt thankful in that moment… but I was desperate to obey the slightest direction He would give.
When I stepped into my office, I began to sing…and pray…and cry and thank Him…and honestly, I still can’t share this without tears.
I had no idea that one small act of obedience to thank Him in that moment would set me up for the overwhelming JOY I have today.
For several years I wondered if God would resurrect the dream of an adoption agency in Joplin.
I was okay with whatever His plan would be but I held on to the possibility… until yesterday.
My husband mentioned to me that our friend Randy Bohlender and his wife Kelsey were having an open house in Kansas City for their new adoption agency. Hmmmmm….I didn’t know that AND we had already planned to be in Kansas City.
I walked into the room of my house where my painting was and I heard God whisper….”Hand it over to Zoe’s House.”
Without hesitating, I reached for the painting feeling tremendous peace.
Taking the painting to Zoe’s House Adoption Agency’s open house was another movement forward in my redemption. Handing the painting to Randy provoked a few tears; happy tears. He received it with gratitude and showed me where he was going to put it…in his office!
I know Randy will not need to give it to someone else someday. I believe he and his wife will keep their commitments and honor God with all they are given. Though Randy is a very gifted man, his character will protect his mission. Character is necessary. Especially when you are asking people to trust you.
As I left Zoe’s House Adoptions today, I felt my heart take a deep sigh to fully embrace new dreams, new visions and new assignments…
New adventures with a new heart.
I know people say don’t look back…and I get it. Forget the past and don’t look back.
But I only agree if you look back with shame and regret.
I look back to remember God’s goodness…His mercy…His loving discipline.
I look back with a sense of awe that my Heavenly Father wouldn’t let me get by with living a life that is not His best.
Because of love.
He won’t you either.
I don’t know when and I don’t know how but if you’ve said yes to be His, He will love you to perfection. (Which involves our complete redemption body, soul & spirit when we meet Him face to face.)
Until then, He is a good good Father and you can trust Him to give you what you need. Not always what you may want, but always what you need.