Confessions of a Needy Mom

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It’s one of those days that I have no other way of expressing myself other than to blurt out the raw truth-

I’ve been a mess the last few days.

I’ve been challenged like none other to believe what I have boldly proclaimed to others for years:

You can trust God with your children.

It’s not like I haven’t been around this mountain a few times in my mothering…many times actually.

Those times they desire to do something or go somewhere that…well…constitutes risk. Some more than others.

It all started when I briefly glanced at the Athens news a few days ago. Where Morgan and Bailey are….serving refugees and loving people as Jesus has commanded us to. Obedient children…stepping out in faith….taking risks…because it’s not actually the safest place to be right now…..

Or is it?

I can’t tell you how many times I have said these very words;

I would rather my children be in another country serving Jesus if that’s His will for them than be next door in rebellion against Him.

So….Jesus showed up in my kitchen today… a very tender and sweet rain of His presence that stopped me in my tracks until rain flowed from my eyes and peace swallowed up the mess of the last few days.

He came when I was sending a message to our family about the Greece team getting ready to “go out and share the hope of Jesus with lost souls…”

And right after I texted those words….I lost it…and Jesus found me…right here in my kitchen.

Because all of a sudden, I thought of life without Jesus. I thought of how desperate I am for Him…how needy I am of His presence, His words, His love, His hope, His peace, His security. I thought of how much joy He gives me….even in the midst of sorrow…I thought of His fierce love for me…I thought of the way He goes anywhere, with anyone at anytime to bring light into the darkness…all darkness…that when His light comes…darkness has to flee. I thought of those seeking for this truth and waiting for someone to bring it to them…

I know some people proclaim to live without Jesus just fine…and I don’t judge them for that. But this mama is needy.

I’ve had seasons and moments I’ve disregarded Him and His wisdom and though it didn’t change His love for me, it awakened me to the reasons why I love Him so and find life abundant in staying close to Him.   

I thought of my children taking the life and love of this Man and sharing Him with those who are seeking…looking….for Him. Not knowing it’s Him, but knowing He’s there….somewhere. This Man who calls out to them, offering them eternal life and a place of rest for their souls.

And, it happened. I no longer needed my kids to come home and be safe…I just needed them to go share hope with those who are more needy than we can imagine…to pour out the Jesus in them…who doesn’t live a safe life but a passionate, purposeful life.

You know, I use to be more like my kids…and in a strange way, they are leading me back to that place by their example.

I confess that I am a needy mom…

Not needy for my children but desperately needy for the God of my children. I can’t imagine life without Him….and my temptation with fear loses it’s power in the presence of Jesus. No power in hell, not even death itself stands successfully in the presence of this Man Jesus.

Amen.

 

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